A Glitched-Out World of Pixels, Pizza, and Probably Bad Decisions
Welcome to the four corners of absolute chaos, also known as the main levels of the Retroverse. We’re not entirely sure how we got here, and honestly, we’re still glitching through most of it, but here’s what we think we know.
Each level is like a weird fever dream crossed with your uncle’s garage after he tried to “fix” the microwave using duct tape and a Nintendo cartridge. Nothing works quite right, snacks are suspiciously sentient, and time moves like your kid when you ask them to clean their room—backwards, slowly, and with dramatic sighs.
Welcome to 404 Forest, where the paths don’t work, the trees move when you’re not looking, and your sense of direction files for early retirement. I’ve been lost here three times today and I haven’t even moved.
Neon City’s all flashing lights, busted code, and shady soda machines. We don’t know why selling shirts helps here, but it does. Thanks for keeping the pixels powered. We’ll try not to die.
Arcade Abyss? Yeah, no thanks. It’s like walking into a haunted Chuck E…you know they guy…where the games play you. Everything’s blinking, beeping, and possibly cursed. I lost three lives just looking at a pinball machine.
Snackstorm Alley is what happens when junk food gains sentience and rage issues. Imagine dodging flaming hot chips while a burrito tornado screams at you. It’s spicy, it’s loud, and I’m still pulling popcorn out of my socks.